Postpartum Self-Care That Doesn’t Require Too Much Time
The fourth trimester can be a roller coaster, and it isn’t something that is guaranteed to be easier with your second, third, or even fourth baby. In fact, each pregnancy and postpartum period is so different that it can be harder for subsequent pregnancies, and there is no way to know how you will feel until you are in it. The things that are pretty certain: you won’t be getting as much sleep, you will likely experience emotions across the board, and you probably won’t have a whole lot of time for yourself.
Do you find yourself feeling frustrated when people mention the “importance of self-care?” Maybe it isn’t even talk of self-care that overwhelms you, but simply not knowing how to respond when someone says “is there anything that you need?” Most of the time having a new baby keeps you so busy that you struggle to even know what it is that you need- let alone how to communicate that. It’s really common to politely respond “Thank you, but we are doing well. I think we have everything we need,” while feeling unsettled and like there is more that could be done for you, if only you could put your finger on it.
A good way to refresh and reconnect with what you need is to practice small moments of self-care. The kind you can squeeze into 5, 10, or maybe 20 minutes, that will help you feel a little more like yourself. The kind that isn’t overwhelming, because you don’t have to leave your baby to make it happen. These small moments can do more for you than you might think. So what does simple, postpartum self-care look like?
Accepting help- and being okay with not knowing why you need it. If someone is offering to give you a few minutes to yourself, you don’t always need to know exactly how you are going to spend it. The act of stepping away can actually be a good opportunity to get some fresh air and just breathe for a few minutes. Slow your thoughts, and if you can slow them enough, try to listen to what your body needs. Have you eaten a meal in the last two hours? Have you had enough water to drink?
Taking a shower- even if it’s only 10-minutes long. Try to get out of the habit of hopping in simply to get clean. Spend an extra minute or two doing something for yourself like shaving your legs, or using a lavender body scrub. Maybe you have the time to wash your hair. You don’t have to style it when you’re done, but catching the smell of your favorite conditioner throughout the day can feel more familiar than you might think and is a comforting way to feel more like yourself.
Listening to a song- one that might bring you happiness, or even just help you process how you are feeling. If you aren’t able to fully step away, grab some head phones and listen to something you find comforting. It doesn’t have to be “happy” every time, just a song that reminds you of you.
Sitting for a meal- without distractions. Take your time. Taste your food. Chew a little longer, and slowly. If you are able to put baby down- a quiet, warm meal is so good for your soul. We tend to eat way too fast when our hands are full. Sometimes we don’t even eat a meal, we just live off of snacks. This adds up and causes our bodies to respond from a place of stress. Eating is often the last thing on a new parent’s mind, but food really is medicine and if you have time to sit for even one meal a day, it will make a bigger difference than you think.
Drinking a cup of tea- extra hot. It’s like giving yourself a warm hug, as silly as that sounds. The warmth is soothing, decreases stress, and can make you feel like you are taking time for yourself even when you don’t have much of it.
Talking to someone- about your birth, or your baby. About what you miss or are looking forward to. It’s good to process what you have been through, what you are feeling, and what you may need. It’s also OKAY to talk about these things. You can tell your loved one or your doula that you don’t even need help fixing a problem, you simply want someone to listen to you while you work out what’s going on in your sweet, sleep-deprived mind.
What are some things that come to mind as you read this that you think would help you feel a little more like YOU? These small moments of self-care are a great topic of discussion to bring up with your doula. We are here to help you find the time, to hold the baby, and to bring you the meal or the hot cup of tea. If you are my birth client, I always offer one to two postpartum visits so you can start the fourth trimester off with self-care from the beginning. This is also something I get to regularly offer my postpartum clients. Check in with your doula, I’m sure they will gladly do the same.
Do you need someone to help you brainstorm self-care, or to process your birth with? Even I you aren’t looking for long-term doula support, a virtual session is a great place to start.